18 June 2017- Maro

I have a date today.  Unfamiliar and terrifying, bold lips mask the unsure, resistant part of me hoping to boost confidence. Who is this date? Maro.

It’s time to go home, time to face the music. Why is this so terrifying? I am facing the person that I damaged, the person who’s heart I broke. Maro looked to me to love, cherish and keep them safe. I am the one who stood idle while others attacked, I walked away when they needed me most. I had affairs with others who said the words I wanted to hear. I have said unkind words, lost faith in, and completely blew off responsibilities.  I know nothing about the person I am trying to rekindle a relationship with. I know only the glimpses of what they chose to share. I’m hoping to see all of them, the monsters, scars, pain, joy, and the fire. I know this time around, I will appreciate Maro for who they are.  Maro is the only love I have ever needed. I have searched miles far and wide for the love that needed to happen in the mirror. Amazing how uncomfortable it is to look into the eyes of the person you tore down for so many years. I hope, after today, Maro and I can have good conversation, forgive each other and fall asleep with hopes of when we see each other in the morning, we can look at each other and smile.

(Maro is Japanese for myself).


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