To live. That is exactly what I intend to do. These last few months have been some of the hardest in quite awhile. I am at a place of just being done. Done with the heartache, the bullshit, the sleepless nights, the baggage that won’t leave me.
I went for a drive last night, and out of habit went to Casper’s. We just sat there…beers were to be had and memories of what were crossed our lips as we smiled at the love that existed between us. I have missed him. Sitting there, in the chair across from him, he has changed….as have I. His eyes still have the warmth to them….still have the look as if I am the only one in the world. I wonder what went through his mind when I sat across from him.
I was no longer the wounded girl I was when we first met. I have more fire and life to me than I did, and he saw the spark in my eyes. For the first time, I was able to tell him thank you…. He did more for me than even I knew until that moment. As we talked about our lives, we connected again…. The smiles shared, the laughs were my most genuine for sometime. He always has a way to make me realize sometimes life just is…. And you have to let go to let it happen in the way it was intended. As the hours continued to pass, my fondness for him grew. He said it was like meeting me for the first time, and he wished he did sooner. Makes me sad somewhat, that he met ME now and not sooner…but because of him I began to let go. I wouldn’t have pushed myself to be where I am today without his honesty.
As our visit came to a close, I hugged him like I’ve never hugged anyone… A thank you…. My final goodbye. As I walked away, I turned back, he smiled a smile I will never forget. He will continue on his path, as I will mine, but will never forget the lesson he taught me…. Let it go… Let it be.